Conditional Love is Not Effective

Conditional love isn't effective in most situations, including parenting, careers, leadership, ownership, and life in general.

D. Brown Management Profile Picture
Share

 

Article Image

 

 

Being an effective parent starts with unconditional love. Babies require a sense of psychological safety to keep striving, despite the inevitable failures that come with it. Unconditional love for others starts with unconditional love for ourselves. Unconditional love is difficult to explain unless you've had it modeled for you. 

So, what does this have to do with construction contracting, projects, and careers? 

While there will be different definitions and degrees of love beyond what we would have for ourselves, our kids, and our families, the fewer conditions you have, the more outcomes improve—and the journey becomes a whole lot more enjoyable. 

That need for psychological safety is the foundation for development in children, adults, and high-performing teams. As we  age, progress in our careers, and take on more responsibilities—even up to company ownership—the gaps created by conditional love only worsen.

Note: Don't mistake unconditional love for a lack of boundaries. Dr. Brené Brown describes this very well in a 5-minute video. https://vimeo.com/274228723  

After watching this video, take a moment and reflect on all aspects of your life and career. Consider the the conditions you may have in place and those you believe others may have toward you. Don't take any immediate action. Sleep on it. Revisit your list in another few days and over the next few weeks, noting what has changed and what hasn't. 

If you're leading a large team or the company, you'd be amazed at how building a psychological safety net for your team can improve performance, reduce turnover, attract great talent, and make even the worst days at work pretty enjoyable. 

 



Related Training

Talent Value Stream Roadmap

Turn the construction talent shortage into your competitive advantage. Learn More

$12500

Building the Project Team

Managing and Developing a Project Management Team for Sustainable Growth Learn More

$2500

Prepare Your Business - People
Your people are your business. This is especially true for contractors where nearly 100% of competitive differentiators are the experience of your people. Now we are faced with lots of unknowns and yet we must act decisively.
Resource - Leader Standard Work (LSW)
Leader Standard Work (LSW) is a tool and process that can dramatically improve performance, lower stress, and accelerate the development of people if the timing is right for implementation. This is a collection of resources to help make those decisions.
Leadership Combinations and States of Market Growth
There is a beautiful tension in leadership teams that is required for growth. That tension shifts with different stages of a market's growth and must be integrated with the contractor's stage of growth as a company.