Calm Mind: Everything starts with a calm mind as illustrated with the "Empty Boat" fable (read below) from thousands of years ago, or the various stress exposure training tactics used in military boot camps. Removal of external stressors is rarely the solution. Within your environment, there will always be highs and lows. Your ability to remain calm throughout that range is the foundation for next step. Jocko Willink describes this as "Good" which is a great philosophy. In road construction, think of this as the subgrade. Weaknesses here may not show up immediately after the roadway is paved but they will show up eventually, sometimes as major sink holes appearing suddenly.
Focused Thinking: With a calm mind, you can truly evaluate your situation with limited bias and focus your thinking. As Stephen Covey (7 Habits) describes, you must focus your thinking mainly within your Circle of Influence while also keeping your Circle of Concern slightly larger for context,but not so large it leads to distraction. A great way to work through focusing exercises is with the Theory of Constraints (ToC). This applies to many aspects of life, careers, projects, and the construction business.
Deliberate Action: You can only have impact on yourself and others through actions taken including words spoken. You will never have enough resources to take all possible actions. You must be very deliberate in your actions and that can only come as the result of a calm mind and focused thinking. Sometimes the right action is to do and say nothing. Other times it requires intense focus on the constraint despite the thousand other issues tugging on your finite resources.
Working on this is a lifelong journey. Helping others on their journey is the greatest gift we can give but each individual must do their own work. Remember that unconditional love is key to a calm mind.
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” - Rumi
See Prioritization Basics for Construction Contractors and read the Empty Boat fable below:
There is a personal challenge after the fable so keep reading...
The Empty Boat Fable (Timeless Wisdom from 4th Century BC)
Once upon a time, nestled high in the mist-shrouded mountains of ancient China, stood the venerable Temple of Pure Sound. The temple was renowned for its monks, who were said to have attained remarkable levels of inner peace and enlightenment. The air was always thick with the scent of incense, and the sounds of chanting echoed softly through its stone corridors.
A young monk named Liang had recently joined the monastery. Fresh-faced and eager, he was determined to reach enlightenment as swiftly as possible. Each day, he observed the older monks with admiration as they sat in perfect stillness, their faces serene and their minds seemingly untroubled by the world around them. Liang aspired to be like them, to silence his racing thoughts and find the inner peace they exuded.
One morning, as the first light of dawn painted the sky with hues of pink and gold, Liang joined the other monks in the grand meditation hall. The hall was vast, with tall pillars carved from ancient cedar trees and walls adorned with intricate tapestries depicting the life of the Buddha. Liang settled onto his cushion, closed his eyes, and began to focus on his breath.
But as he tried to center himself, he became acutely aware of the subtle sounds around him. An older monk next to him cleared his throat softly. Another shifted ever so slightly, causing his robe to rustle. Outside, a bird began to sing, its melody sweet but, to Liang, distracting. The more he tried to ignore these sounds, the more prominent they became in his mind. Frustration began to build within him.
"How can they meditate so peacefully with all these disturbances?" he wondered, peeking through half-open eyes at the older monks who remained undisturbed.
After the session concluded, Liang approached his master, the wise and gentle Master Zhou. The old monk had eyes that seemed to hold the depths of the universe and a smile that could ease the heaviest of hearts.
"Master Zhou," Liang began hesitantly, "I struggle to maintain my focus during meditation. The slightest sounds distract me. Is there a quieter place where I might practice undisturbed?"
Master Zhou regarded him thoughtfully. "Liang," he said softly, "the path to inner peace is not found by escaping the world but by embracing it. However, if you feel the need to seek a quieter place, then do so. Perhaps the journey will teach you what you need to learn."
Grateful for his master's understanding, Liang decided to find a more secluded spot. The next morning, he ventured into the temple's expansive gardens. The gardens were a haven of tranquility, with winding paths that meandered through groves of bamboo and beneath arches of wisteria in full bloom. He found a quiet nook beside a gently babbling brook, where cherry blossoms floated lazily on the water's surface.
Settling down, Liang closed his eyes and began to meditate. For a while, all was peaceful. The soft gurgling of the stream and the delicate scent of the blossoms seemed to soothe his restless mind. But soon, a dragonfly buzzed past his ear, startling him. Then, a pair of squirrels chased each other up a nearby tree, chattering noisily. A breeze rustled the leaves, and petals drifted onto his face.
Exasperated, Liang opened his eyes. "Even here, I cannot escape distractions!" he exclaimed.
Determined to find absolute silence, Liang decided to leave the temple grounds altogether. He remembered a secluded cave higher up the mountain that he had heard some monks mention—a place few ventured due to the steep and treacherous path leading to it.
The next day, before dawn, Liang set out on his journey. The climb was arduous, with narrow trails winding along sheer cliffs and rocky outcrops. As he ascended, the air grew thinner, and the sounds of the temple and the village below faded away. At last, he reached the cave—a yawning mouth in the mountainside overlooking a sea of clouds.
Inside, the cave was cool and dark. Stalactites hung from the ceiling, and the faint sound of dripping water echoed softly. Liang sat on a smooth stone, enveloped by the deep silence. "This is perfect," he thought. Closing his eyes, he began to meditate.
For a time, all was still. But soon, the silence became oppressive. The sound of his own heartbeat and breathing seemed thunderous in the quiet cave. A drop of water splashed onto his shoulder, causing him to flinch. Then, from somewhere deep within the cave, he heard the distant flapping of bats.
A shiver ran down his spine. The silence he had sought so desperately now felt eerie and unsettling. "Perhaps this was not the right place after all," he admitted to himself.
Feeling defeated, Liang descended the mountain. As he walked, he came upon a serene lake he had not noticed before. The water was crystal clear, reflecting the sky like a flawless mirror. A small wooden boat was moored at the edge, gently swaying with the ripples.
"Maybe if I go out onto the lake, I can find the peace I seek," Liang thought. He untied the boat and paddled toward the center of the lake. The water was calm, and the only sounds were the soft splashes of his oar and the distant call of a lone bird.
Reaching the middle, Liang set the oar aside and closed his eyes. The boat drifted lazily, and for the first time in days, Liang felt a true sense of calm wash over him. His breaths became deep and rhythmic, his mind beginning to clear.
Suddenly, his boat jolted with a heavy thud. Startled, Liang's eyes flew open. Another boat had collided with his, shaking him from his meditation. Irritation flared within him. "Who would be so careless as to crash into me here?" he thought angrily. "Can't they see I'm trying to meditate?"
He turned toward the offending boat, ready to confront the person responsible. But to his surprise, he saw that the other boat was empty. It was old and weathered, likely untethered and set adrift by the wind.
In that moment, Liang felt a wave of realization crash over him, much like the gentle waves against the boats. His anger had arisen instantly, without any real cause. There was no person to blame, no intentional act against him. The disturbance had been accidental, and yet, his mind had immediately leapt to irritation.
Reflecting on this, Liang understood that the true source of his distractions was not the external environment but his own mind. The noises in the meditation hall, the sounds in the garden, the silence of the cave—they were merely triggers. His reactions to them were the real obstacles.
He recalled Master Zhou's words: "The path to inner peace is not found by escaping the world but by embracing it."
Liang smiled softly to himself. The empty boat had taught him a profound lesson. He realized that if he could remain undisturbed by an empty boat, then perhaps he could remain undisturbed by the empty boats of life—the unexpected events and disturbances that were beyond his control.
With a lighter heart, Liang paddled back to shore. The journey back to the temple seemed shorter, his steps buoyed by his newfound understanding.
Upon his return, he sought out Master Zhou, who was tending to a small garden of lotus flowers.
"Master," Liang said, bowing deeply. "I have been foolish. I sought silence in the world around me, not realizing that true silence comes from within. An empty boat taught me that my reactions, not the external distractions, are the real barriers to my peace."
Master Zhou looked at him with kind eyes. "Liang, wisdom often comes when we least expect it, and often from the simplest of things. The world will always be filled with sights and sounds, with disturbances and distractions. It is our mind that must learn to remain still amidst the chaos."
Liang nodded. "I understand now, Master. I will strive to cultivate inner calm, no matter where I am."
"Good," Master Zhou replied, placing a gentle hand on Liang's shoulder. "Remember, enlightenment is not a destination but a journey. Each moment is an opportunity to practice."
From that day forward, Liang joined the other monks in the meditation hall without complaint. When a bird sang or a fellow monk coughed, he let the sounds pass through his mind like wind through the trees. The noises no longer disturbed him; instead, they became part of the tapestry of his meditation.
Liang's heart was at peace, and in embracing the world around him, he found the inner silence he had sought all along. The lesson of the empty boat stayed with him always, a reminder that true tranquility comes not from the absence of noise but from the stillness within.
Challenge: Keep a log for a few days.
- Take note of when and why the calmness of your mind is interrupted.
- Take note of when your thinking wanders too far beyond your circle of influence and slightly larger circle of concern.
- Take note of when your actions including words are reactions rather than deliberate actions.
Don't judge yourself. Just focus on taking really good notes. That is the first step and that is how all journeys begin.
